I'm listening to the sounds of the ocean
Whenever I can't sleep I'll turn on a waterscapes play list. Normally the sounds of waves will lull me to sleep. But tonight it is making me think of sea turtles and dolphins.
My brain just won't turn off I keep thinking of Sawyer.
Every night when I turn my bright green porch light on I think to myself "Sweet dreams Sawyer". When I look up at the night sky and see Orion's belt glittery in the black I think " Keep shining Soy". When I hear Uptown Funk play on the radio I think "Dance it out Soytown". I haven't spent more than moments with Sawyer. But I've known him since he was about 4. Those big eyes that steal your heart instantly. And a goofy grin ....well who could resist that.
Lately, I just can't stop thinking about him and the Awesome family. Kelly and Erin have shared their devastating and inspirational journey with this huge online community. We all cheered together at the beginning when we were so sure Sawyer would beat this in record time. And we've all cried together in these past weeks with the knowledge that his battle could not be won. Nine years on this earth is not nearly enough. He has more dancing to do and daredevil adventures to take. This can't be real. It just can't be.
Every day I look at pictures and read the comments from Sawyers warriors near and far. The out pouring of love and support is truly incredible. If love was enough he'd have beat cancer that very first day. It has only been ten months since his diagnosis...not even a year. But it feels like he's been fighting forever. No matter how much pain or how scary it has been, he's smiled through it all. His amazing bravery has been a lesson for all of us. The strength and positivity this family projects into the universe every day in spite of the devastating reality they wake up to each morning, it's beyond belief. If you haven't been following Sawyers journey I encourage you to start now. You can go right to Sawyers Caring bridge journal by clicking here . The last entry is a letter Kelly wrote to Sawyer, a beautiful letter no mother should ever have to write. You can also follow the Sawyer's Warriors page on Facebook. This brave and radiant boy is leaving a legacy of love and laughter behind. He touched hundreds of people that he never got to meet. His story has changed my world. If Sawyer can smile through cancer, I've got nothing to whine about. Every time I look at the ocean I'll wonder if he was reborn as a dolphin or a sea turtle. Every time I see green lights, the Seattle Sea Hawks, the cereal aisle....I'll smile as I think about Soy. Soy and I are September babies. He was born on the 23rd. I was born on the 24th. I think an annual Uptown funk dance off and a green candle for Sawyer is a tradition he'd get a kick out of.
Sawyer is not the kind of kid who'd want us all crying. He'd want us all to get up and dance it out.
Be brave....and DANCE!