Sunday, June 9, 2013

A tired mommys worst nightmare

I only got about an hour and a half of sleep today. 

I got home from work this morning and got in bed. About 15 minutes later my husbands alarm clock went off. Normally he jumps right out of bed, tosses on his clothes and bolts for the door. But his ritual was off this morning. He showered in the morning instead of last night. I could hear the sounds of the shower. I could hear him brushing his teeth and shaving. Normally the sounds of him are comforting and endearing. But this morning my only thoughts were


About the time the noise stopped and I had just drifted off to sleep he woke me to kiss him goodbye.. I remember thinking to myself "I hope Micah let the dogs out!". Just then they started howling and barking as if they were begging Daddy not to leave. 

 I heard the car drive away and I start to drift off again.....more barking. Uggghhhh. 

Moosey woke up and started calling me throughout the house. Micah had cracked his door so that he wouldn't be stuck in there if I slept through his calls. We both knew he'd come straight to our room to find me. Thankfully he wasn't scared or upset. He usually wakes up with a smile and a lot to say. 

 "Hey mommy! Why you sleeping?" are the first words I hear. Thankfully the girls spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa. Just one tiny person to stop me from sleeping....and he does such a wonderful job. 

I got up and made him breakfast, straightened up the house. But most of the time when I'm this tired I can't get much accomplished. I'll doze the morning away while he plays with cars on my arms and watches TV. 

I needed to go to the store and pick up the girls. So I got us dressed and started locking up. 

We are lucky enough to have a remote start for the car. During the summer it is a life saver. The air conditioner is already pumping by the time we get the kids in the car. Before you can start the car you have to lock it. 

I had already started to load Moosey into his seat when I started the car. I pressed the door locks, then remote start and the engine turned over. Unfortunately, I had turned off the AC when I got out of the car this morning. I finished strapping Moosey in and shut his door.........locking him inside. 

My baby was trapped in a car in summer heat with all the windows rolled up. 

I told myself not to panic...he'd be ok.

I'd break the damned window before I'd let anything happen to him.  
I started looking around my house for a way in. My cell was also locked in the car. I knew exactly where my husbands car keys were, if I could just get into the house. I am paranoid generally so every window and every door was locked and secured. There was no way in.......and then I started to panic. 

My neighbor and his friends were working on a car and I asked to borrow their phone. I didn't call the police or the fire department. By the time they could get out to my house and try to jimmy the lock he would have been in there too long. I called my mom. 

Living in a small small town has its advantages. I live about a 30 second drive from my mom, my sister and my uncle. Everyone has spare keys to our house. You never know when there will be an emergency ....just like today. 

It felt like it took forever for her to show up. In reality it was about 2 minutes. I just kept talking to Moosey, asking if he was ok. 
 Right before I loaded him into the car I was telling him about the apricots on our tree. They are ripe and ready to pick and we shared one.

 I was freaking out and he was giggling at me eating his apricot. 

My mom gave me the house keys and 30 seconds later the door was open. 

We have 3 children. For 7 years now I have been at varied levels of exhaustion. During summer months especially I am always saying to myself like a mantra "don't forget the baby, don't forget the baby". Because over the years I have seen so many sad stories of people leaving sleeping babies in cars and forgetting them. I even freak out when others are transporting my kids during the summer. No one ever takes care of your children the way you would. So I get a little paranoid

When Fish was about 5 months old I was letting her play with my keys while I strapped her into her seat. She had pressed the locks and I didn't notice. I shut her door and was locked out. My purse and cell phone sitting in the driver sweet Fish smiling happily in her seat. That time I had to dial 911 from a payphone at the grocery store I was at. The fire department got my door open for me. The sheriff questioned me on drug use and the welfare of my child. I felt like such a horrible mom that was worse. 

Not because I had accidentally locked Moose in the car. But that instant of panic made me realize that I wasn't fully about my wits. I am so tired that I could really miss something big and dangerous. 

When I got everyone home we all laid down for a much needed nap. Tomorrow I start making changes to get more rest. 

I need a cocktail or a bowl of ice cream or a nap.