Monday, December 31, 2012

Life doesn't suck

Everything is about apps now. Apps for you phone, apps for you tablet, apps for your sites. Apps used to mean appetizers, which sounds far more enjoyable to me.

Facebook has an app called My year in status. The app takes all of your status updates from the whole year and picks a few to give you a highlight of what you wrote. I LOVE IT!

It was like going through a photo album. The beginning of 2012 was insane. My son had surgery on his eye. Then he got so sick he ended up in the hospital. My status after it was all over

"Took a hot bath, ate a bowl (or 2) of ice cream, cried my eyes out, and took a 3hr nap. Woke up with a pile of EVERYTHING to do, and it's already passed my bedtime. Thanks everyone for all the thoughts and prayers....."

It felt like the world was caving in. And that was when I was working full time. I was miserable at a job that made me feel guilty for staying in the hospital with my sick 18 month old son. When I went back to work some of my coworkers acted like I had made it all up. Which was one of the reasons I posted a picture.

It reminded me of that terrified feeling I had holding my sick baby. Funny enough that week just got worse. We all ended up getting sick, vomit everywhere. Lets just say January 2012...not super fun. 

The more I read the more I realized how much I post about marriage. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. 

"Today was disappointing and painful at times. Not the whole day, but it's like the rain stopping the parade. I started looking through our pictures as they randomly popped up on the screen. It showed almost 9 years of work. 2 kids were just meeting and becoming friends. They didn't know that they would fall in love or that a war, children, unemployment, family and life would happen. They had no idea the happiness waiting for them...or the pain. It has been a rough and wonderful 9 years making "US" and some didn't think we'd even make it to the alter. At the end of the day, everyday, we have each other. We'll let the rest work itself out"

Some of my posts sounded like we were on the road to divorce. But most of them were full of the realization that I was truly in love with my husband and happy to be "stuck" with him. Especially during the long summer when he was gone for 2 weeks, then 3 weeks, then 38 days. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. 

Before I had a blog, I had facebook. Reading my old stuff.....I was long winded! And I tend to quote TV shows and movies. Mostly it is like a great memory book where I record amazing moments

"A slice of pie, giggling children, hazel eyes staring at me from the face of my husband. I left the car doors wide open and danced with Fish under the stars to a country song. I asked her to promise to tell her daughter someday how I danced in the street with her under the stars.She said  I don't ever want to grow up, I want to stay your baby doesn't suck "

There are a ton of amazing posts that chronicle our days. At the end I remind myself and my friends that life doesn't suck. That doesn't mean that all of those memories are fantastic.One of my all time favorites memories

"The highlight of today was when all three kids threw up in the back of the car. I mean the day as a whole was an epic misfire, but that was definitely a highlight. Tune in next time for more AWESOME adventures with Clan McConnell"

Somewhere in the middle of life I quit my job and started this blog. I feel so lucky to have the handful of readers I do. I feel like this year I discovered a couple new things about myself. And although I haven't reached my goal yet...I know I'm on a better path to finding my sparkle and being a Happy mom. 

My father in law doesn't like music or flavor. Which is odd because he's an artist. He has told me on more than one occasion that food is just fuel, so it doesn't really need flavor.

He told me once that life is just a bus stop to a better place. None of "this" matters. He wasn't kidding..he really believes that. 

My year in status is a bright and shiny reminder that...

Life is not a bus stop.

 When I wake up to those squeaky happy voices in the morning, it's not a bus stop. Every tear, happy or sad is worth it.

The real lesson in life is not to be good just so you can go some place better. The lesson is to take advantage of every ounce of sunshine, every drop of rain, every second of laughter. 

The minute you took to read this is a gift. The moments we have together are beautiful gifts and we have to appreciate them.  Tonight I will have some drinks, play with my kids, laugh with my friends, kiss my husband and hope for an even better year to come. But I won't look back at this past year with anything but gratefulness. I was so lucky just to have lived it.

 Cheers to you and yours on the New Year's Eve and a hope for a more beautiful year to come. For me it will be continuing my search for sparkle and the Happy mom inside myself......

Life doesn't suck