Friday, November 2, 2012

Fat Friday

So I did promise to take pictures of myself. I hyped myself up! Promised no bullshit...took a couple shots and cried like a baby. It's really hard to admit what you have been ignoring for a really long time. Then I hid out for a while and had a few really bad days. But this morning I got up, went to Zumba and have been staring down the huge bowl of left over halloween candy.

I decided it was time to take another set of pictures (I deleted the first set) and just come clean. I waited until my husband left to run an errand. Just because he sees me everyday doesn't make it any less embarrassing

Honestly as I post this I am crying. It hurts that I have let this happen. I don't recognize the person in these pictures. Literally it looks like a stranger to me. But it's real and its me. Broken and searching for the spark that I need inside me to get up everyday and make the changes I want. So I will be updating you a lot more and writing more. I have missed blogging and the feedback from my readers.

I took these pictures in Biggest Loser fashion. I didn't want to leave anything hidden or covered. Ugly and scary is more the effect I was aiming for.

This one hurt far more than the first. The side view shows just how big I am and is't frightening. All that fat hanging over a c-section scar. The only editing I did was to show less of my messy house.

So here is the real me. I haven't gained any more weight. I'm still at 258 pounds. But I have been having health issues...numbness, tingling, pains. All the signs that it's time to stop making excuses and just do it

 Today I started supplements and I'm starting my green morning program. Every day I have to have greens in my breakfast in some way. It's gonna be a long road with lots of work involved. So if you want to follow me and see how I do....I'll be here.