Tuesday, September 25, 2012

GROW SOME BALLS!!!

      If you are hoping for the warm and fuzzy trying to be happy post I normally write.....this is not the post for you. I am trying to be a happier person all around. I want my children to have a happier mom. I want my husband to have a happier wife. I want to feel happy from the inside out. Part of finding that happiness is trying to surround myself with people who enhance or make me happy. I can't have people in my life who will only suck the life out of me. Another large part of finding that happiness is writing this blog about MY LIFE and MY LIFE EXPERIENCES. If you think my facts are wrong than call me out. But if I didn't call you out by name and only stated facts....why are you make such a big fucking deal. Yeah you are making a big fucking deal about it.

 People when you post passive aggressive crap on facebook...it's drama. It's like asking people to rub your back and tell you you're awesome.Saying out loud to 500 people "I am a bigger person" doesn't make you a bigger person...silence would have done that.

If I'm so unimportant why are you even reading my blog?? (SIDEBAR: Thanks for reading my blog! Hope you have enjoyed reading about my suicidal thoughts and sad history!) I don't hide any of my flaws...if anyone has read my posts they know that I admit my short comings. I posted my actual weight...clearly I have nothing to hide

I am not crying out for help or begging for ANYONE to fix and love me.

IF I WANTED YOU IN MY LIFE
 I WOULD HAVE MADE THE EFFORT


       Because that is what grown ups do. I would have continued to invite you to functions or called and said we needed to talk. I would have come to your doorstep and said "I value you" and I want to work this out...If I didn't do those things then we are probably right where we need to be. Not in each others lives.


       This is a good lesson for anyone. People want to feel important. They want to know that they are appreciated. Everyone wants to know that when the chips are down they have people they can depend on.You can only give and give and give, before you are tired of the one way street. I am at a point in my life where I am tired of always being there for someone and them never being there for me.

Do you have someone like that in your life? 

      Someone who calls you at their lowest and asks you for help. But that person is never there for you. They only think of themselves and what others can give them or do for them. I'm tired of those people. I have a limited supply of patience, time and, love. I'm not going to waste myself on them anymore.

      So yes this is an angry rant. Because I'm sick of people playing the fucking victim. Crying about how I hurt their feelings by  possibly writing indirectly about them in my blog. Was I wrong? Did I misrepresent you? Did I call you names and tell everyone I hated you?

 NO! I have left you completely alone and reflected on my own life.

      My blog is not about you.....I'm not writing it for you....if you have a problem GROW SOME BALLS and bring it to my door. Or better yet...stop caring. If you don't care enough to call me or come to my house then why do you care about what I write. I sincerely hope that the people who have walked out of my life find other people to sustain them. I don't wish bad things on anyone. I'm sorry if you can't handle someone being honest with you.

 I HAVE NEVER LIED ABOUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I'M ABOUT.

 I'm about telling you what I honestly think. Especially when you ask!

       So this is me saying stop being such a douche and grow some balls. If you have problems with people and you think they are important enough to whine about on your facebook status line...say something to them. Otherwise you just seem like a pathetic child pandering for attention.

P.S. TO ALL OF MY REGULAR READERS I HOPE THIS RANT DOESNT MAKE YOU THINK I HAVE SWAYED FROM MY GOALS...IT'S JUST A 15 MINUTE ANGRY HICCUP...I'LL TRY FOR SOMETHING HAPPIER LATER